After the Legacy: the Stone boys

I took a look at his gender preference and it turned out that he was gay, so I sent Corey down to check him out. Corey’s idea of chatting someone up is to say, “My mum really loves art!” Thank God he has the genie’s help.

I tested out the Smooth Talk interaction, and… I feel cheated! And if I was Abhijeet, I’d feel even more cheated! Where did the rose go, Corey??

After talking about his mother’s passion for art and cheating Abhijeet out of a rose, the next item on Corey’s checklist is to demonstrate his lack of understanding of the rules of football.

All I can say is… that genie works wonders.

So, Corey and Abhijeet disappear upstairs to finish what they started.

And then I decided to force Corey to give Abhijeet the stupid rose. He earned it, right?

Success!

For some reason, Cristopher does not approve.

Stewart: Dude, it’s my turn to sit in that chair now! Mine!

Jordan somehow broke the sink. I do not know how. I made him fix it.

Outside, Abhijeet was doing this weird handwaving thing. I made him selectable to see what he was upset about (I didn’t really learn anything from my experience with Laci, OK) and what was in his cue? “Browse Web For../Sports”. I don’t get it.

Jordan and Stewart have yet another smustle party.

Stewart: Uh-oh… dudes, I’m stinky again! How do I get clean?

Stewart: I know, I’ll call the cleaners!

Stewart: Hello, Miss Cleaner!

Stewart: What the hell? Still stinky?

Stewart: Oh, man… this is so embarrassing… I forgot how I’m meant to get clean again!

Jordan: BROTHER, YOU MAKE ME SICK.

Jordan: I’M GOING TO HAVE TO BEAT SOME SENSE INTO YOU.

Stewart: …Nope, didn’t work.
Jordan: *still sick*

Jordan: Stewart, you smell like a FISH!

Stewart: How DARE you try to use that as an insult against me!

Stewart: FYI, fish actually smell GREAT!

Stewart: *storms off*
Jordan: *collapses due to fumes*

Stewart worked the solution out eventually, though.

Did I mention that Stewart’s sub-aspiration is Grilled Cheese? No? Well, it is. And he wants to spread the cheesy love.

Stewart: HEY DUDE, GRILLED CHEESE

Corey: HAHAHA, OH YES, GRILLED CHEESE

Corey: …My brother is an idiot.

Stewart: With this thinking cap on, I’ll never be stupid again!

Sadly, the thinking cap’s effects do not extend to after he has taken it off.

He emerged with a grilled cheese sandwich anyway, though (after I put the thinking cap in his inventory).

Jordan: Time to beat some sense into my favourite older brother again!

Stewart: I’ll show them… I’ll show them all!

I think I can see where Stewart gets his smarts from, though.

Corey goes off to his first day of work. As a llama. Have fun, Corey.

Jordan brings home Ashlee Bruenig from school, and I somehow forgot that she was a lesbian, so I get Jordan to chat to her. About hats.

Luckily, Ashlee likes hats.

However, Ashlee does not like roses.

That doesn’t stop Jordan, though. Through his cheesy grins and crappy pick-up lines, Ashlee is somehow converted.

Or at least, she’ll accept this rose.

…You know what, Stewart? I give up on you. You do what you like.

Jordan sidles up to Ashlee, and the relationship is going veeeeeeeeeeery well.

So Jordan leans in for a kiss.

And Ashlee breaks his heart.

Jordan CRIES, AND CRIES, AND CRIES.

But then he decides that maybe he and Ashlee just didn’t know each other well enough, and with that in mind he supplies her with another rose from his infinite supply.

And then I realised the “Cheer Up” reaction was available for her. I can’t imagine what Jordan is cheering her up about, though.

“Don’t worry! I’m not REALLY angry that you broke my heart!”

I think Ashlee is just playing him for a fool.

See? She rejected him for a kiss YET AGAIN.

And even while I repair their relationship back to “crush” status, Jordan sobs his little heart out.

…He sure doesn’t look too torn-up about it, though. I think they’re both playing each other for fools.

Bewildered by Ashlee’s stubborn refusal to kiss him, I decided to see how far off she was from having sex with him. And discovered that she was 101% prepared to have sex with him, BUT NO KISSING. Well, OK, Ashlee. We’ll have it your way.

Jordan tries to prove how confident he is by giving her a little wolf whistle. Ashlee likes confidence.

Then Jordan suggests that they disappear into ~~his~~ Estelle’s bedroom for a while. Ashlee likes the sound of this, too.

Yes, I apologise sincerely for the horrible pictures here. But anyway, they relaxed on Estelle’s bed, and Jordan asked if she wanted to sleep with him.

“You won’t kiss me, will you?”
“No, no! It’ll only be sex. I swear!”
“Well… OK, then.”

And then he got up to cry about how she refused to kiss him. Twice. So, I forced him to get back onto the bed.

“God, you were out of here like a plane! Don’t you want to sleep with me or something?”

Jordan assured her that he did.

And then, in the single-worst picture of this whole update, Jordan got a sneaky kiss from Ashlee when she was in her underwear in the bathroom. Good work, Jordan! You’ve done me proud!

If I were Jordan, I’d fear this too.

(Ashlee got a makeover. I was hoping it would help with my bizarre graphical issues. It did, as seen below.)

Stewart is a terrible influence on his mother, enticing her to play “Punch You, Punch Me” on the road.

Here is a better view of Ashlee’s makeover! She’s beautiful! Now that her bizarre issues with kissing are gone (and… she appears to be bisexual, not lesbian), perhaps I should match her up with Jordan!

She’ll even smustle with him!

And sleep with him again in the hot tub!

Stewart: HEY DUDE, GRILLED CHEESE

Jordan: Uh-uh-uh, my friend, you have it all wrong. Grilled cheese is fattening and unhealthy. It clogs up your arteries with grease and fat, and gives you deep-vein thrombosis. If these solid clots break away from the wall of your vein, they travel to your heart or brain and give you a heart attack or stroke! And don’t even get me started on the long-term health benefits of not making your life difficult by surrounding your lungs in fat…

Stewart: …D:

Laura takes up birdwatching. But only once. For about one second. Her attention span is only long when she’s doing art.

Stewart: I still can’t believe my cousin is blue… wow…

Estelle decided out of nowhere that her real One True Hobby wasn’t good enough for her, and that she wanted to be a tinkerer. She was really insistent that she wanted a broken car, so I went and got her a broken car.

She worked on it long and hard for a good many hours, and before long the engine was complete and it was only the body that needed to be completed.

Stewart decided that he could help. I really hope he doesn’t hurt himself with that thing…

Laura broke the computer while updating her blog, so it was up to Estelle to repair it. Estelle got electrocuted. She managed to cling to life, though.